***SPOILER WARNING FOR MOVIES***
to play it safe... Enjoy!
Happy October 15th!
I love movies. I'm sure you have at least a few you really enjoy. In order to create a compelling narrative and bring the audience into the picture, many movies employ a simple story arc: the beginning of the movie is devoted to introducing characters and the world, then crises arise to create higher stakes, after that everything bubbles together into a dramatic climax, and the post-climax sums up loose ends.
Here's a pretty simple illustration:
Killer waves, dude!
As you can see, the tension doesn't rise uniformly. There are some movies that just decide "let's crank it to 11!!" and really jack up the intensity, sometimes to a comedic effect.
So, to celebrate these masterpieces, here are...
Five Movies where...
Couldn't have said it better myself, Ron Burgundy.
1. "Rambo Daydream" from UHF
General Premise of UHF: George Newman (Weird Al) and his buddy Bob (David Bowe) come into operating a TV station, channel U62, on the verge of bankruptcy. Knowing that, George applies the "Weird Al approach" to TV programming and makes the entire line-up a hodgepodge of odd premises and parodies. This miraculously turns the station into a household name, especially the kid's show "Stanley Spadowski's Clubhouse", starring the station's janitor, Stanley Spadowski (Michael Richards).
How Things Escalate: After being knocked down a peg, the town's "network affiliate" is upset by Weird Al's sudden success. In order to keep the network affiliate from owning and demolishing U62, Weird Al and crew launch a PBS-style call-in fundraiser. The fundraiser features a variety of the different TV show stars (including the upside-down yodeling cowboy), but Stanley Spadowski is kidnapped by a group of network goons. After George learns that Stanley is being held at the network headquarters, George dashes out of U62...
Let's watch:
You Should Still Watch the Movie Because...: The premise of Weird Al running a TV station is a perfect fit for his style of parody and randomness. In between scenes, commercials and TV shows from the network will run, including "Conan the Librarian", "Spatula City", and "Wheel of Fish".
Why make a game show about fish? For the halibut.
The movie also includes the antics of pre-Seinfeld Michael Richards, who really sells the role of someone who, above all else, really loves being a janitor. It's a random movie, it's an odd movie, but by gosh, is it awesome.
2. "Self-Destructing Castle" from The Pink Panther Strikes Again
General Premise of The Pink Panther Strikes Again: Back in the day when Inspector Clouseau is played by Peter Sellers, not Steve Martin, an old colleague of Clouseau (Charles Dreyfus, played by Herbert Lom) escapes from a mental asylum and seeks revenge on the Inspector. Dreyfus kidnaps a scientist who has created a disintegration ray and bullies the nations of the world into attempting to murder Clouseau, while the Inspector seeks to stop Dreyfus and rescue the kidnapped scientist and the scientist's daughter.
How Things Escalate: In a case of "too many cooks in the kitchen", the master assassins fail to murder Clouseau, but knock each other off instead. Clouseau then learns that Dreyfus' headquarters is in a Bavarian castle. Disguising himself as a German dentist, he is able to infiltrate the castle, but as is expected with Clouseau, things don't always work out as expected...
If only all dental offices had pipe organs... *sigh*
Let's watch... err, read:
Unfortunately, I was not able to find the clip of this specific scene. After the dentist disguise is blown, Clouseau changes into a suit of armor and after conveniently sitting in the scoop of a catapult, the Inspector is thrown onto the disintegration ray when... everything starts blowing up. Yes, the ray, the computers on the walls, practically everything you see that's not human starts to spark and blow up. Since Clouseau's weight knocked the ray into pointing at the castle, the castle also disappears, while Dreyfus is left playing the pipe organ as he also disappears, down to his twitching eye.
You Should Still Watch the Movie Because...: This is another movie where the absurdity is fully on display. Clouseau is clearly a bumbling idiot with a lucky streak three miles wide, so you love to watch how he gets through everything unscathed. While I couldn't find a clip of the castle explosion, here is another entertaining scene from earlier in the movie.
3. "Gas Station Smackdown" from It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World
General Premise of It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World: One morning, a thief is speeding along and careens off a cliff. Four cars stop to help the man, and in his dying breath, the thief says that there is $350,000 hidden "under the big W". After failing to reach any form of compromise, the people involved make a mad dash in a race for the money. Since the trip spans a sizable portion of California, different people try to beat the group by flying, calling in relatives, etc. As more people learn about the hidden treasure, more people race to the park where it's hidden, including the California police.
Now, this may sound similar to Rat Race, which is a spiritual re-make of this film. Both films are based around a pursuit for hidden cash, add more competitors like a rolling snowball, and showcase dozens of popular comedians and actors of their time... but Rat Race has a CGI talking cow... so, no. This movie is better.
How Things Escalate: Lennie Pike (Jonathan Winters) is one of the original men to help after the car crash, and is one character whose situation truly goes downhill quickly. He's one of the main guys to suggest fair compromises for every person, but is quickly voted down. He then crashes his moving truck filled with stuff into another character's car and is forced to bike down the highway in "a little girl's bike" to find another car. He is picked up by a smooth-talking motorist, who leaves Pike at the side of the road after learning of the money. Pike then picks up the bike and races after the car who left him in the dust...
Let's watch:
You Should Still Watch the Movie Because...: One thing that separates this movie from others on the list is that the moment featured is really in the middle of the movie, not as some final conclusion. At one point, the movie does feel like five separate journeys as different characters face challenges and rope more people into the deal. Naturally, all of these storylines come together the closer they get to the "big W". Another reason I like this movie is the range of the cast. The main crew includes Buddy Hackett, Mickey Rooney, and Milton Berle, with cameos including the Three Stooges, Jerry Lewis, and Don Knotts.
The noi-ve of some people. Thinking we can't contribute to society. Nyuk nyuk nyuk!
4. "Battle of WTF" from Time Bandits
General Premise of Time Bandits: Okay, here goes. Kevin, a British boy, is kidnapped by a group of dwarves (featured above, including Kenny Baker aka R2-D2), who have stolen a map of time and space from the Supreme Being. The dwarves were helpers for the Supreme Being, but plan to use the map to find portals to steal some of history's greatest treasures. Meanwhile, a sorcerer known as "Ultimate Evil" is watching the group and tricks them into coming into his lair to find "the most fabulous object in the world".
How Things Escalate: After being tricked to come to the Fortress of Ultimate Evil, the sorcerer also gets a hold of the map. Conveniently, the Fortress of Ultimate Evil is on top of a half-dozen portals, so in a last-ditch effort, the party split up to find warriors to help them win against Evil... (Oh, and by this point, one of the dwarves has been turned half-pig... and there have been Dementors with cattle skulls)
Let's watch... err, read again:
I really wish that I could show you the madness, but you'll just have to take my word at it. This is all directly from the movie and I am not making it. The dwarves were able to get Roman archers, cowboys, knights on horseback, a Panzer tank, and a sci-fi space craft to help fight. The cowboys strike first and quickly lasso Evil. Evil swings the cowboys around like a carousel (including music) and a giant knife coming from Evil's head cuts all the ropes and send the cowboys flying into the distance. The knights go next, attempting to hit Evil with jousting lances. Evil puts on a gas mask, emits poisonous gas, and leaves the knights as a jumble of armor and lances. (No horses were harmed in this movie... as far as I can tell at least.) The archers launch a barrage of arrows, but Evil inflates himself into a giant pincushion and then puffs out so the arrows shoot right back and kill the archers.
This is a picture to hopefully strengthen the case that I am not making this up...
One of the dwarves fires the Panzer tank, but Evil simply makes the Panzer and space craft drift around and fire randomly. A column collapses and crushes another dwarf. When all hope seems lost and it looks like Evil won... he explodes. Yep, the Supreme Being comes in and makes Evil explode.
You Should Still Watch the Movie Because...: If only I could see your face right now. If you haven't seen the movie, you should watch it so you enjoy WTF moments. I will admit that this scene is one of the biggest ones, but even if you know it's coming, it's just weird. Once you've seen the movie, you should show other people, so you can watch them go "WTF!". For all the randomness this scene showcases, the movie otherwise fits into a cohesive plot, and there are many Monty Python influences, including appearances by John Cleese and Michael Palin themselves.
Oh, and Sean Connery is in it.
Yes, *that* Sean Connery.
5. "ALL the Police Cars" from Blues Brothers
General Premise of Blues Brothers: After being released on parole, Jake (John Belushi) and his brother Elwood Blues (Dan Akroyd) learn that the orphanage they grew up in is going to be shut down unless $5,000 are paid in outstanding taxes. The two decide to get their band back together to raise the money, now that they "are on a mission from God". Jake and Elwood must find each member to pull the band back together, while avoiding the Illinois and Chicago police, Carrie Fisher, and a group of Illinois Nazis.
How Things Escalate: The Blues Brothers are able to pull the band together for one big gig. Since the gig is thoroughly advertised, the venue is filled with fans, but also Illinois troopers, and a country music group that had their gig stolen by the Blues Brothers.While the band plays "Sweet Home Chicago", Jake and Elwood take the $5,000 and sneak out the back door of the concert hall. They get in the Bluesmobile (an old police cruiser) and race towards Chicago...
Let's watch:
After this video, the chase isn't quite over. I couldn't find the entire sequence, but here's another piece showing things have... progressed.
You Should Still Watch the Movie Because...: The Blues Brothers band was originally an SNL skit, and Akroyd & Belushi are entertaining to watch in every scene. Like It's a Mad... World, this movie features many famous actors as well as musicians. What sets Blues Brothers apart from the other movies on this list is the incredible music, which includes James Brown, Ray Charles, and Aretha Franklin. Speaking of music, there's a chase scene earlier in the movie when Jake and Elwood are being chased by cops inside a mall while the classic Blues Brothers theme plays.
So, about that insurance policy...
I tip my hat to you, oh crazy movies. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to drive a car that's on fire through a building (also on fire), as I'm chased by mutant undead panthers to the tunes of AC/DC.
It's going to be awesome.
Special Thanks to YouTube, IMDB, Google Images, and KnowYourMeme for the videos, photos, and information.
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